Sunshine outruns the storm
rains fall in the desert, yet
something is that should never be
sands blow and time stands by
watcing while we forget
people walk in the fog
so long in the darkness
they don't remember
The Sun shines brightest in the Moonlight
Trapped they walk free
Wandering lost, never to know
the fire that burns brightest
heals all wounds in time
Walking the Sunlight of the moon
We watch
watching the trapped play at life
fearing the help of those
who can free them
Running fast leaving the trapped behind
on through the path of the night
the sun shines our way
on to live truly free
- Trapped While Free
-
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isibeau- February 8th, 2010
- The Star
-
- isibeau
- October 16th, 2009
morose
A light from the heavens has left us
Clouds gather
Showing their strength
While skies weep their sorrow
Paths in darkening tunnels
Brush sheds sunset petal tears
Along those paths we tred
Calling the heavens to task
Take heed the departed light!
Deny him not the place he's due
Or suffer the righteous
Cry of outrage
For even the dark
Turns cold shoulder to such offense
But take heart!
The light shines bright once again
Though hard seen through the clouds
Taken to his rightful place
In peace
With beauty and rest
Rejoined strength and laughter
Set above to watch over us all.
~ for Tad
- The Road Out of Town
-
- isibeau
- October 14th, 2009
Here in town there is a seemingly innocuous plan to convert the surface of a couple of the local playing fields from regular sod to the new and improved, long-life grastroturf.
I'm not a fan of kids playing on astroturf, I see organizations who install astroturf as a end-all solution with out the proper maintainence, overhaul, resulting in worn padding and damage to children's feet, knees and hips. Plus there is a healthy social development in having kids come home so filthy from playing in the mud while playing soccer you have to wrap them up in a 33gal Hefty Trash bag up to their armpits in order to even get them in the car.
I see the mass transfer to turf fields as a continuation of the increasing inability of Americans to plan more than 5 years in advance. Here in this area, the county adopted a population expantion plan, called the Growth Management Act. It was passed almost 20 years ago, and was designed to be maleable, to be reviewed and revisited every 5 years to assess it's effecacy and accuracy in managing urban to suburban to rural sprawl. It went so far as to dictate zoning for everything, housing, retail, and of course parks. On the whole, I see the transformation of playing fields to turf as a cheap shadow to the true intention of the GMA... Parks department is more than 15 years behind in the creation of usable open space for children, families and the community as a whole to use for recreation, whether that be for a family picnic or local rec sports team.
So fast forward to the present, and the current debate of the local sports field. It is so overused in the lack of adequate playing space, that unfortunately the switch to turf is the best option at this point. Either this or continually spend hundreds of thousands of dollars yearly on repair and maintainence, or put the grastroturf in and hope that the future residents have the wherewithall to realize that the replacement and maintainence in the longrun will also be costly and time conusming.
So, the city votes on the proposal, it's approved and the funds allocated, you would think that would be the end, but you'd be wrong. There is a citizen's pannel who has dug up a 10 year old study on 20 year old astroturf fields, showing the rubber shavings and the coloring of the turf are carcinogenic and that the money is being wasted by puting in astroturf that could make our children sick! Now... we're supposed to blindly fall prey to his fearmongering, using our children as pawns, and go to city hall with torches and pitchforks, presumably to strong arm city council into seeing the light. Nevermind the age of the study and the age of the astroturf that was being examined, and the fact that the new grastroturf is not made of those carcinogenic agents or any others. This ringleader of the fight against the turf fields is the same leader of a small citizens' coalition who wanted to originally, a year ago, to divert the earmarked monies from the playing fields to road improvement.
So, it struck me as odd, the other day... thinking about what kind of statement that makes. If you think about it, he wants to not improve the parks, places to build communities, for families to get together and interract, for children to grow and learn how to play together, learn how to support a team and family and engender a sense of greater communinty. Instead he wants to improve the roads. Improve the roads, allow the fields to deteriourate, allow the sense of community and gathering wither and die, and instead of giving people a reason to stay, he wants to allow them greater access to leave. Give the public and residents greater access to leave and take their sense of community and extended family far away, so that he can have the entire pie to himself, and not have to bother with those pesky kids and thier families and sense of community.
- The Shoe
-
- isibeau
- October 1st, 2009
contemplative
I often wonder at the single shoes on the side of the road. Wonder how they got to travel where no feet have been, and yet still apear discarded and alone. Are they really discarded, or did they chose to end up at the side of the road, and this is but a stop along their path. This all came about because as I was driving home one day, I took an interchange, and there on the side of the onramp was not only one shoe, but many single shoes at the part of the onramp where the curve was the sharpest, in the middle of two of the busiest freeways in my area.
It made me wonder about the choices I have made in my life, where would I be if I hadn't gone on that hike in the desert. Where would I be if I hadn't moved to California, where would I be if I had stayed there? When I actually sit and think about it, it's almost overwhelming... I'm at a pretty happy place in my life, and what did it take to get here? If I had done any one thing differently, would I have ended up with two of the most amazing men I have ever had the fortune to know, let alone have them as mates?
S was commenting on the fact that had he not gotten shot in the Somalia debacle (think hard, yes THAT one), that he would have retired two weeks ago after 20 years in the Army...And I can tell that he feels that he missed out, and regrets not being able to finish that goal, but if he had... I probably never would have met him. He wouldn't have been living in Houston, he wouldn't have met the romanian family become like family to them, and met one of their friends, whom I had known for almost 6 years... If he hadn't gotten shot and moved back to Houston, I probably wouldn't have met him.
Other what-ifs circle around, almost like gossip in my head sometimes. Yet, I think I am where I am supposed to be. I would not be the person I am today, if not for the path I have traveled. It has not always apeared that way though. Often I have felt like the shoe, lost and alone on a path where feet don't belong, nevermind a single lost shoe. It made me wonder if there aren't eddys in the fabric of our being that cause people to become lost and end up like the shoes in the space of the interchange, a swirling, almost inescapable morass of human haplessness, where not only is it our own self doubt that leads us to the eddy, but the apathy of the human race that keeps us stuck in a place where you are never anything but that lost discarded shoe.
- Silence
-
- isibeau
- June 16th, 2009
Speak to me not of daydreams
Quiet the blowing of Wind
Walking the path out of Wild
Finding the sun once again
Speak to me not of daydreams
Hollow promises whispered at night
A life lived eternal, discovered too late
Once more to walk on alone
Speak to me not of daydreams
The counting of sheep has grown old
Seeing but closed from vision
Walking village paths with empty eyes
Speak to me not of daydreams
Remember their sweet song no more
Learning to walk to the Music of Sun
Empty warmth guiding my path
Speak to me not of daydreams
or of Lives once Lived long ago
nor of Wind, Moon or paths cross the stream
Walking, She lives on alone.
- The Nothing
-
- isibeau
- April 22nd, 2009
- crushed
Night two of total sleep failure, it's going to be a long effing day tomorrow.
my song.... MY Song.... I give it to the chosen and he actually asks what caused me to write such an awesome song... I don't know whether to cry or to kill him or both... amazing that.... Just when you finally think there are no more tears..... There are more tears
I think to the mark on my heart as it begins to fade, as all such surface marks must, the Wild howls in defiance at being locked away, i have to push hard on it to cause the same ache and ecstacy as when I first received the mark. We howls and cries out to the night
Free no longer
Once again caged
the sunshine a mockery of pain
God it hurts so bad I almost can't breathe... I know there are moments I don't want to. Never more to hunt the Wild, never more to share the play of the pack. So angry... watching the herd of sheep and knowing I am one of them. All for the choice to walk in the sunlight, yet the sun sheds no warmth
I wish it would do anything but sunshine, yet as the dawn birds start to sing thier new song, happy in their freedom, I can only think that the birds know what I suspect, that there will be sunshine again today. The greater the sunshine, the more glaring my emptyness will be.
The Wild locked away to be forgotten, the sorrow to be given no voice for it is my own fault that I am here. I can blame the Chosen, but it was not difficult to see where his path would lead him, I knew before he did, but I did not see because I did not wish to see. Eternally Entwined in the hunt it was easier to hunt on my path, than to switch to the diverging path to the light.
So I sit here, more here than two days ago, and less here than two days ago, the growing Nothing inside, the ache all consuming but better than facing the look of the caged I see when I look in the mirror.
- I'm Sorry
-
- isibeau
- April 22nd, 2009
- melancholy
A simple song, though, nothing can really excuse what I've done...
Chorus:
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
A forgotten past brought to the fore
A life once lived long ago
Entwined Eternal, but one thread cut short
She travels alone knowing the other will still follow
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
Tied tightly with two threads
Running free through the shaddows of Night
her Soul dance with Wind and the Moon
She, The Music, The Night play as One
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
Music fading the dance comes to it's end
As panting, she falls by the stream
Broken and twisted she dares not to chose
Still bound by the threads that now hold her together
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
The Moon and The Sun hold council
As their daughter still lies by the stream
They cut free her bonds each taking a side
And one on each bank, they offer her life
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
Sun shines bright, the music starts to renew
Sun offers her all that she knows
A life in the light full of comfort and home
The offer made, Sun and Music sit back to wait
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
Moon shows her splendor, a path cross the stream and into the night
Welcoming Howls call the Wind
A thread once cut short is offered again
Moon lights her path through the shaddows to Wild
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
Fading and weakened she stands to her choice
And cuts short the strings of the Moon
Howls of outrage from the passing of Wild
Turns without looking back she walks to the Sun once again
The sun shines brightly not a cloud in the sky
She still can't see past the water
The Moon and the Wind are but forgotten dreams
Turning to face a new dawn
